A whispered roar from under the bed

7.8.9. The day Paige quit her job (maybe)

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 22:17:29 GMT

I'm writing this post from bed. My ulsers have torn my guts up in a
wonderful way. No food for me.. which is a bummer. I'm craving sushi. (Sorry
Iziah.. had my phone off so I could stay chill and not rant)

I had a nice post started yesterday. It was sorta funny. I was discussing
Arrogant Bastard beer... why I was an arrogant bastard and how I should
visit the Stone brewery when in San Diego. My post was full of the quality
overblown ego that one comes to expect from reading a public journal.
See the woman who's bladder and rectum fell out of her vagina, was
being crazy-ier than normal. This was Tuesday night. She was going out of
her way to be confrontational. "Don't leave the area" (my job is to do
rounds and help make sure everything is fine), You're so meaaaan to me, if I
don't talk to her- I hate her. I talk to her and I use big words (I don't
use big words when I talk..what you read here is EXACTLY how I talk in
person) It's a no win situation. I laugh it off because Yeah.. me..
meaaaan. Look, I save my snark for use among those that can laugh along.
Look lady, if I was mean I would point out how your only friend is Nev. A
Co-Worker who doesn't even know your last name. She feels sorry for you
because you've lived here your whole life and yet NOONE seems to desire your
existance. I assure you, Nev is being snide to your face and you don't even
see it. When she was pretending to be facinated about how they reinserted
your bladder up your vagina..after it fell out.. she was trying to cheer me
up by giving me something to "Lewis Black" about. Mocking you, to your
face. Also, cut it with trying to freek her out about the lesbian at work
with a crush on her (me). You see Virgina, you sycopthanic moron, At work
Nev and I pretend to be just aquatances, but outside of work, she's my best
friend. Surprise. We weren't laughing at you until you wouldn't let it go.
If you have to ask if I would be okay with an offensive joke... The answer
is NO. Okay? If you have to ask and it's on the clock.. the answer is always
No. Telling Black Jokes.. Nev is laughing because she has no fucking Clue
what you're talking about! Also.. your rectum and bladder can NOT fall out
your vagina and when you said on Tuesday that you needed a pad to insert
inside your vag.. I wanted to explode laughing. Instead, I went out of my
way to find you said feminine supplies. Then you accuse me of airing your
buisness when I have to ask for a pad FOR you! Also Pad. External. How can
you be 60 and not know how your own body works? Do you truly Lift and
Seperate to create a gasping maw of a cameltoe?
You ask me questions, I answer them. You get exasperated and go to the
boss to complain that I'm meaaaan.. But I'm not talking down to you.. I'm
not being sarcastic.. and unlike everyone else, I'm not mocking you to your
face! *exhales*
So after a Tuesday night of stupid, I was on a Ha Ha I'm an arrogant
bastard kick..to deal with the crazy. Full moon and all...

Okay. So today she stormed out twice. She started shouting. She went out of
her way to be agressive.Then as I walked out she had the balls to cry
because no one wants to work with her. She's been kicked off 1 shift and 2
buildings. Just because I have a way with people does not mean I deserve the
gift of this woman working with me. No.. really. I don't. Take this blessing
from me. I can't work with someone who glares at me and then actively
ignores me.. goes over my head constantly.. is blatantly setting me up.. and
is making it damn clear that she's trying to get me fired.
So today, there was no funny. I can't make what happened funny. I went in
the office. Declared Hostile Workplace and said that it has to be her or
me. It shouldn't be an debate. She's a temp. She has a record for being
moved from place to place and a file of complaints. Meanwhile you guys
wanted me back when I left! What's going on?! Does she have dirt on the
company? How long has she been planting the seeds that I'm out to get her?
Why do we get the special snowflakes? (Normal turn around for special
snowflakes is less than three months). YES ultimatums are not the way to go,
but how did you spend your night? I spent mine with my back to a wall and
not in a hot way. There are people who requested to come to our shift. One
cited that it's because he wants me as his boss.. So HOW is this even a
debate? Her or me?
Hells I spent all day forcing myself to sleep. The 2nd shift super was
advising me (on facebook no less) to stay cool because this is what she
wants. (Me to walk out) She assumes that if I'm gone she gets my job.
*flail* She's wrong, but that does me no good. I'll be out of a job.

la la laa laa la.

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 15:11:35 GMT

If you haven't heard yet.. DARIA IS COMING TO DVD IN 2010.
*FLAIL* Oh my god! I loved Daria so hard. Well actually I would have a crush on Jane if she was real..and I squee that Biff Naked was the pimp chick that made moves on Jane in college. *Smirk* Dude, you know that a few years into college Jane became a total pimp herself.
Here's an episode to celebrate with.

Daria-peanut
Uploaded by micophive. - Check out other Film & TV videos.

attack cat is Go.

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:25:21 GMT

The rain let up... I woke up from my nap and pulled on some clothes. Suddenly I hear a thud and rustling right out side the window that I've installed the new AC into (thank you Joc and Hubby) I finish putting on my shirt and walk over... just in time to see a Pigeon poke it's head into my apartment through the crack between the area between AC and wall. The wood barrier comes falling down. I take a step back.. surprised. Memories of Hitchcok's "The Birds" springs into my mind. The damn bird just entered my apartment. I look at the bird. The bird looks at me. It cocks it's head all bird like and coos.
Slate looks up at me and simply goes "Mew". (I've yelled at her before for jumping at the birds near the window... it's loud.. it wakes me up and it's full of Cat Fail to attack birds with a window between them and us)
I half point at the bird (I'm still in shock at a bird walking into my apartment) and tell Slate.. "git it." Slate JUMPS from almost half way across the room and lands next to the bird. RARRR!!!
Needless to say There have been No More Pigeons coming near my windows in the past 2 hours. Finally the cat has more use than "generator of interesting stories,gas engine of destruction, halter of night time activities, and eater of food"

SAFE FOR WORK FUN!

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 16:03:06 GMT

Okay... let's play a game! What's wrong with this clip. List what you find mind shattering WRONG with this Care Bears Clip! If enough people respond and enough LULZ are had, I'll post more horrible things from the 80's.

Blu Cigs

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 18:28:15 GMT

I'm taking a break from spring cleaning to write a journal entry (shush Amy! Summer solstice happened in SPRING. Early Spring. Shush. You're Frank in Rocky, you are clearly demented.)

First things first.
So I received my BluCigs in the mail before heading down to Kir's party. During the trip down a flash flood smacked I-84 (CT/NY line).   My nerves the car I rented was NOT handling very well on the highway in the rain. I had a few moments where I thought "I wish I made better plans ïn case of my death." I joined the fleet of cars and trucks pulled over on the side of the road.   It was then that I broke open my new Blu pack and "lit up" Now I only have ULTRA LIGHT: Vanilla and Java flavors. I can't say they taste like a real cig at all. Sorry, but this is not a equivalent. I mean there's a very light flavor but it's sort of like if you take a cigarette and hold your fingers between the filter and your lips. The flavor is VERY light. If you're a real hard core smoker, you'll hate them. Okay? I don't know how the Tobacco Flavor is.. but this is an ultra-ULTRA light flavored smoke. (it could be that I have ultra lights. I'm not a very big fan of Nicotine. It's the most addictive drug known to man and yet pot gets a bad rep? Nicotine has very few positive points, Pot\hemp has many. One is addictive and has a better lobby. The other has hippies and dying people.)    I normally don't inhale deeply, but for this.. I have to inhale deep if I want to feel like it's a real smoke.   Clove smokers. Don't bother. It's not going to help you at all. The "smoke"is actually water vapor and YES.. it's no different than real smoke..except that it has no smell. THIS is what I find awesome and why I endorse this product.   Once you get past the fact that the smoke doesn't feel as "heavy"when you inhale it... it's the same thing. This "Smoke"that's actually just water vapor reacts the EXACT same way as tobacco smoke. I can still blow smoke rings and stand outside with the smokers at work. Except now.. I don't have to stand outside. I can smoke right at my desk or among my highly allergic friends. That's worth the compromise to me. So yeah. If you aren't someone who smokes Marb Reds, I would try them. Just be warned the flavored (Java, Vanilla) don't taste like tobacco. The wight is the same as a pen. So you can't let it just cling to the saliva on your lips, but you can clench it between your teeth.
   Oh and I should admit to having a blue LED fetish. So the aesthetic of a black cig with a blue light clenched between my teeth just makes me pleased.
Second:
Anyone missing a I think size 6-8 sundress It says size Petite 8.  I really REALLY doubt it belongs to anyone reading this, but I put a shout out on my Twitter as well. .

Prepare the hoses and the hankies!

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 11:58:20 GMT

Okay.. I have decided that today is the day.
I have had my adventures. I've even recovered from the weekend (such a
good and yet terrible weekend). I slept a full 8 hours in a real bed (and
not in a rental car at a reststop/bank parking lot/school parking lot)

Now is the time. I brought a 40 oz just for this. *takes long pull on her
blu (http://blucigs.com)* I can do this. *a deeper pull*

It's time to Clean Under The Bed.
I fully expect to find corpses under their. A pooka might have a freehold
under there.. it wouldn't shock me.

Okay. Enough delays. Let's do this *action pose* Let's spring clean.

Paige's live journal UNPLUGGED

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 12:43:59 GMT

Sometimes we forget our phones or have our desktops down in order to help Iran by functioning as a proxy. (*cough*) So we have to write our journal entries in whatever way we can.
Here's one such entry....

Now I gots to sleep because the ribfest is tonight. Good bye weight loss, hello nummy ribs for a good cause.

Paige has an dream that'd get her burned alive in the 1900's .. and I'm going to share!

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 11:37:13 GMT

So I had this nightmare. It might be an interesting villain for someone to use in a RPG or a story. Have at it.
I gots to warn you, the concepts.. sorta disturbing. No. Not on drugs, I've been clean for a year and 6 months.(I have a little boy that worships the ground I walk on and that sorta thing affects you. )   No extreme spices.. nothing, I just had a strange dream. Make that extremely strange dream.
I wrote it down because it's really bothering me, and then tried to go about my day. (honestly. Saturday was a bust. The headache caused me to be all anti-social and cancel my Boston plans. )

There's no funny or moral to the story. I just woke up. That's the ending. The ending is I woke up and  considered calling a doctor because clearly I'm insane. That's it. I'm insane. I called my friend instead, talked to her son for a bit and felt better, canceled my Saturday plans, wrote this entry..saved it  then downed some Tylonal PM and went back to sleep for a few hours.
" But still, here's my dream and why I was all frazzled.   I didn't make this up, this was the dream. I'm sure if I wanted to make a story I could make a better story with a better narrative, and I'm sure I forgot alot of it because it was about a hour before I thought to write it down. It might inspire someone for a story. Me? oh hells no, it was way to realistic of a dream for me.  So someone can take it and use it as a concept or something. Bleh bleh. Take this mind worm from me and give me a nice bubble bath in exchange!

This was my dream. If you've ever had a dream where you aren't YOU then you know the feeling. if you haven't had a dream where you weren't you, then I can't explain it. It's just.. you aren't yourself. Even the thoughts in my head weren't.. normal. Like if you asked me the smell of the blood, I couldn't tell you. I didn't smell. I was unable to remember what the smell was or even what the sense of smell was like. I didn't have a human body. I didn't have memories or time sense other than this person has been here for a long time, this person just arrived, this one is broken. People had names but I don't think we had names. Someone who was brought to me a year ago would have been the same as someone who was dressed in robes of the roman empire. (they all were brought bound and naked anyway. Alotta nakid.) So you see why it was disturbing upon waking up? Okay onto the "plot"

So I was a minor demon of some sort [?!] and I was in this sealed off domain where they sent people to me to torture. The idea was that I would break them mentally and physically until they were devoid of sense of self (soul) . A drooling sack of organic matter if you will. Because the people were already dead, it's not like they could die under the torture. The more they cursed my name and hated me, the more powerful I'd become... because that means they were still sentient and I had more work to do. I was pretty damn powerful. I would work these elaborate deals where every wish of theirs was granted and slowly itch away at their desires and turn them into nightmares. I mean this was pretty god damn horrifying stuff just to witness. There was one point in the dream where I was having a young girl watch her favorite pet being slowly pecked apart by crows. Very. Slowly. The crows would stop long enough for the kitten to raise it's eyes to mew in pain....and then the crows would begin again. Always leaving the eyes. The girl was unable to help because I removed her ability to be tangible. She would try to save her kitten but .. well she couldn't. That was one thing she loved in the world.. her pet kitten. Her father killed the kitten because there were to many cats. She told her dad she hated him. Major rule broken there. Hell.
           She was a little child. Yet,  it's all meat in the grinder in the end.  A child sinning is no more forgiven than one that chokes a child to death on his cock head.
I was thinking this and I.. this is the first I thought about this. Like having one's first hit of mushrooms or acid. This is a child who's only crime was to rebel against the very thing we where doing back to her. She just rebelled against her Father. Father is God. You can't dissobey your parents. But.. look at her sorrow. This was the key to her soul and we are turning the key... yet it was the same thing that made her rebel. I didn't have the idea of the word incorrect but I was feeling that this torture was incorrect. What if her father was wrong to kill the only thing the child loved? This man was not my father. I MAY and I shall decide that he was incorrect. Yet, why now am I able to consider the cases of those I am to recycle? I shouldn't be able to pass judgement, only to torture. Yet this is wrong. The father did the very thing that we are punishing the child WITH. The father caused the child pain, the same pain that we are causing the child to make me and mine stronger. Is this not wrong?
And I remember in the dream I took a minion away from dripping acid slowly on a woman's face. It was holding a mirror so she could watch it boil into her skull. I talked to him. Normally I do not talk to my creatures. They exist only to follow my whim and will, for they are me. They have no personality, no individuality and we do not have names. I do not wish for names because I want for nothing other than to see my tasks fulfilled . I don't sleep. I don't eat. I do nothing other than what I was made to do. That task is peel sentience from organic matter. Like a orange skin, but I didn't know what an orange was other than an objects that those fleshy creatures ingest.   Now I am starting to question WHY. Previously.. as in seconds ago.. if I knew what seconds where... I did not question the WHYs.
Yet for some reason on this day (there was no day or night, no rest or sleep) I had the most curious of thoughts. I also had a Desire. The desire was simply not to violate a memory and alter it to my whim but to talk. Like the humans do. I wondered what it would be like to communicate. I have seen enough of humanity to know that talking rather than asserting will is a source of joy to humans. They would always seem dismayed when their vocal cords would eventually rot away from screaming.
And so I spoke to a minion of mine.
"I don't WANT to do this. Look at this agony, there's no one in the pools of humanity that deserves to be violated in this way. No one. Life is not black and white, and there is no white. Looking at their memories, rarely do they intend harm on others."   I was okay with my abilities to make a statement. I would say pleased if I could feel such a thing. I had spoken an idea.
"Perhaps this is your punishment." the angel said. He manifested into a human form. While we do not often do this, being surrounded by humanity makes us assume human form. Humans always dream of their souls in human form so when they come to us they tend to be two legged beasts. We mimic this look only because we have learned the mannerisms of our captives.
"Mayhaps." I said [seriously. I do NOT talk like this...but I was in the dream] "That would entail a control system. Yet we know the only one will is His, I would not have a thought if he did now will it. I do not think this is my punishment as I do not recall a life prior to this or the faces of those who I rend the flesh from soul of. The nature of punishment is to make one go beyond regret to the point of oblivion. If I do not know my crime against His Word then I can not be punished. "
I looked down at the ground that does not exist and then over to the a man watching them torture his wife, he's sobbing because he loves her. He's screaming and begging them to stop, he's already torn out all his hair and ripped shards of his skin from his face trying to prove how they should hurt him, not her... he didn't want this.. he only told her "Damn you" once. He loves her more than anything but because he said "Damn you" she's in hell with him.    God takes a curse spoken by one of his seriously. (For there are many damned now just because of "God damn" entering common vernacular). This is making me ill. I feel sick. This guy just said "damn you." My rending of people's minds has lead me to see that this is as common as a heartbeat. His crime: He ate pork at the church's pot luck. His wife will atone for her own sins later. His first. The man loved bacon.
   Ï don't think I was ever one of these." I say as I turn the screams off.
I turn look back to the minion and lean back in the chair that I have created for myself. "Ï feel guilt now. If I were like you I wouldn't have these emotions. I would only know one emotion. Servitude." I will myself a hand and a physical form so I can feel the chair against what would be my spine.
The minion frowns. :Ï know joy."
      "Elaborate."I order him. "Joy as in the pleased feeling we give the christians as they walk into the light of our domain? The sweet before the sour as they say?"
   The minion seems to try and find words, Eventually he talks, "After the fall, The maker has allowed all angels to continue to feel the one emotion we can feel. This is punishment to those that rebelled, they are denied a emotion. I assume this is an emotion but we have only nothingness and one other state. This state I would assume is Joy. Joy is when we follow the orders by the Almighty. God allowed his favorite angel to be the opposing force against him and granted her [?!] free will as a trade off, a gift of a range of emotions in exchange for turning from Him. Yet she no longer has the One Emotion that we all feel. The "Joy"of His pure will. So she is blessed and yet cursed at the same time. Do you truly think that MorningStar, Venus.. The Devil in all her glory is evil? Free will is perhaps her punishment for the crime of envy and questioning the Lord? There is Good and there must be Evil. No one can be Good fully so they are all Evil. Even the Son felt doubt in his father and that is when he died and was sent to us He passed through our maws in two days and was returned to earth to be perfect and not sin again. Two days of life without sin. Amazing if you think about it. Our task is good because it serves Him and provides Him with the knowledge that He is Good and Bad is punished.
"
So I stood up and said something but I don't remember what it was. I sorta hope it was ökay this is CRACK i wanna wake up now.

and that was it. that was the dream I woke up and I was just all messed up. I tried calling someone but what do you say? Ï know I'm an atheist but I drempt that there's no heaven at all. oh and that I'm a minor demon who gained sentience. Can I come over and play on the Wii?"

Why is it only Wed?

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 14:42:04 GMT

Lesson learned. Don't ask a question if you already know the answer and don't want to hear the answer. WHY do I do stupid stuff like that? I should have waited till I received my BluCigs before i asked the stupid question and focused on the neatness of a new toy. Instead I'm just chilling on a Wed with stupid thoughts in my head that resulted from asking a dumb question that I already knew the god damn answer to, and by asking the question I put my cards on the table and now I look like an asshole. Go. Me. I want my fake smokes! I want to smoke. You know in Preacher when Cass wakes up in the back room and screams äh'm the biggest wanka in the world!" That's me.  Also, Preacher doesn't really stand up to the test of time very well. That makes me sad.
This weekend was awesome. The week so far though? Poo. :P  and I mean that. I came home and after finding my mailbox full of bills and only bills I thought "The only thing that'd make this day worse would be if the cat trashed the apartment while I was gone.". Wish granted. Clearly someone does NOT like the catfood I got her. It would be funny if I wasn't already in a foul mood.
   Let us focus on the good though.. The Senate is going to revote on the Gay Marriage thing... I mean It's okay! PROTECT THE CHURCHES! PLEASE! It's OKAY! Nobody should force beliefs on someone else and that goes both ways.  I payed all my bills AND my Rent. *home alone style "YES!"*
Also the latest car wreak on TV is also on Hulu Ï'm a Celebrity, Get me out of here." which I'm watching now. Then I'm going to down some hot coco and go to bed. Oh and the trailer for the new Twilight movie looks LOLWFUL!

Man, the weekend can not come soon enough. Bad things happen in threes, so I'm going to hope that the cat showing her Ï HATE YOUR FOOD CHOICE!" was number three and the rest of the week isn't going to be a downer. I mean it could be worse. I could be a celebrity so addicted to the spotlight that I do what those idiots are doing. (oh sure it's for a good cause but.. just donate the money you tools)
ïs that a real monkey?" Ohhhh Heidi...

Twillight Rifftrax wanka event. BOSTON

Fri, 29 May 2009 02:40:20 GMT

Hey local folks from Boston.
One of my alteregos has organized a showing of the twillight mst3k in
Boston. It's T-accessible.
This Saturday at 3pm. Respond and I'll give you directions. (It's at a
private residence)
BYOB

How did Tom Cruise become a Name?

Thu, 28 May 2009 00:28:15 GMT

So I'm watching Cocktail (rifftrax version).What a terrible movie! This
movie just hurt my brain... comments? I mean this is worse than the Star
Wars Life Day special. Wow. Just. Wow.

The Deadly Hot Pocket of Dooom!

Wed, 27 May 2009 23:34:24 GMT

I just woke up. My breath is so narsty that the hardwood floor just warped. It's so narsty that the cat appologized for all the times I woke up to feline gastric issues. My toothbrush melted as I was preparing to brush my teeth.... Okay there, I got it out of my system. Now on to my journal entry.

Yesterday I decided to "treat" myself to everyone's favorite white trash snack ... Hot Pocket. I don't own a microwave so I used the oven. Which makes me buying a box of Hot Pockets officially a STUPID PURCHASE for me to have made. (they take a half hour to cook in the oven) Well this is my fault. I bought em. I already knew better.. They were on sale and I wanted to show that while they sound disgusting, they aren't that bad... because they aren't. It's just a stupid purchase to have made when neither my friend or I own a microwave. I'll have my popcorn with real butter and bacon salt, than you very much.
So yesterday the two of us are on the phone talking. She's cooking hers and I'm all "You aren't officially an American untill you eat a Hot Pocket, it's like a rite of passage, that and Ramen Noodles." Now I know the rules of a Hot Pocket. (middle cold.. corners HOT... so I gingerly bite to make sure I'm not going to melt my teeth. So far so good. Second bite. OH NO! TO HOT! I recoil but as I do the cheese or sauce or something erupts from the pastry and splatters on my chin. I do one of those silent screams. I run to the bathroom and well long story short, I have a burn on it. Not a red spot. A burn.. skin not there, physical indent burn. One of those ïf I was a pussy and this was McDonalds I'd be filing a suit" burns. As in a Ï wish I had a cool story to go with how i got this scar on my chin, but let it be known.. Hot Pocket.. and I don't even own a microwave"
SO I get to work and Nev's all checking out wound and commenting that at least it'll look like an interesting scar.. sorta badaas.. right on the jaw line. I notice she's not talking all that much. Turns out she scalded the inside of her mouth. Hot Pockets. Punishment for when home cooks decide to be lazy.
But the story isn't over yet! Oh no!
So after work I go to CVS. I should get some anti-scar and burn stuff. . While there I decide to pick up some new shampoo. The Expensive nice Smelling Stuff is on Sale. SO I'm trying to decide between Cocconut Milk and Shea Butter Shampoo. I open up the cocconut one to smell it. I can't smell it... so i give the bottle a squeeze. It explodes shampoo all over my face, shirt and you guessed it. right onto the burn. Oh yes children.. at 8am at CVS there was screams of pain from the shampoo issle of CVS. Interesting fun fact. Shea butter helps with scars. Unfortantly, that's not the shampoo I was covered in at that moment.
Serriously though. Everything is cool and it's a funny story. Le burn is already healing nicely.

Monday Morning. One boxed set down. One more to go...

Mon, 25 May 2009 10:09:06 GMT

Thanks to apocalypsos for finding this.. The video editing on this is amazing.

Edit: removed giveaway of review copies of stuff.

Need to sleep. Can't sleep. Thoughts will eat me!

Sun, 17 May 2009 12:18:52 GMT

Backing up my computer. I had a crazy day but nothing worth writing about.
I''m inspired to write but I'm to tired. Ain't that the way it goes? It's
8 am and it still looks like it could be 4 out there. My body is yelling at
me to take advantage of the sun not glaring in at me. This is one of
those days where you end up talking to someone and getting this grand
insight into how the öther" ticks. The type of person that you can't relate
to,
I wish I could find ways to explain what I realized, but this is the
fourth time trying to write this journal entry and I just can't because when
I do.. it sounds very wanky or rambly. In a nutshell... I was home and
airing out my apartment. I had just emptied the trash and after returning I
had my door cracked open to let fresh air flow around the place. Ryan
stopped by. He didn't SAY Ï noticed it was 4am on a Saturday Night and you
were HOME and the door was open and I was worried so I came to see if you
were okay.." but it was in bold face print between the lines. So Ryan and
I talked for a long time. I started to realize, that here's this guy who in
a Teen Movie would be the BIG DUMB JOCK... but unlike the movies, There's
this guy inside who's slowly coming to terms with the fact that he might NOT
be smart and that no matter how hard he tries, he ISN'T going to keep up.
So he wears the mask that he knows. The big tough guy who will KICK YOUR
ASS if you cross him. Prior to tonight I was always like.. HA HA.. that
idiot.. but after tonight, I'm starting to think that he's maybe not
ignorant and rather just.. not smart, It seems like he wants to try but he
just can't.
I gave Ryan a few shots of Vodka and sent him to bed. (there was nothing
he could do about his lost job at 4am. a few good hours of sleep should
clear his brain and as Big Bull as Ryan is, I'm safe with him. The guy ) I
can't pick on him anymore. Somewhere in there is a guy coming to that stage
of life of self realization.
So for my writing friends having to write the big dumb jock character...
what if the guy is AWARE that he's not so bright, He can keep up with what
people say but what he wants to say is always on the tip of his tongue, and
that's why he keeps up the Macho Football Player Tude years after it's okay
do to so?
Anyway. I think I'll take advantage of this rainy weather and catch up on
some sleep.

I'm all about Tesla, the man..not the band.

Thu, 07 May 2009 14:11:58 GMT

One of my favorite crazy mad scientists of all times was Tesla. OH.. he was crazy but he was also a genius. A comic I'm currently working on has his wireless electricity as the foundation for one of their planet's cultures. Imagine a planet where power is free, cars run on electricity and electrical outlets and batteries are only for those deep in the mountains. Currently a group is trying to save his lab from being torn down. Please pass around the word and donate if you can. Any idea what I should ask for as my Tesla picture?

It is english, I assure you..

Tue, 05 May 2009 10:28:42 GMT

It's May now. This was posted on Monday..

And this really is how the documentation reads.. for everything..
everything. (See the picture)

I get shocked, You get crazy food idea.

Mon, 04 May 2009 15:08:24 GMT

I got electrocuted today. It hurt like hell and an hour after it happened my mind started racing like crazy. It wasn't a bad shock but enough to make me let out a manly roar of pain.. which is funny because I normally squeek like a little girl. I was working on fixing something and my arm brushed against a positive ion contact as my other hand contacted a negative ion contact. (we are doing work with very very small plastic parts so we have to flood and area with a constant stream of neg/pos ions to keep the parts from clinging to eachother for bag and tagging.) So it wasn't a bad shock. Just enough to have someone hear a zap and me swearing a rainbow of hate. (it's like a regular rainbow but in shades of brown)

For those of you not on Twitter. Amber Benson had a deal with her fans in order to get a certain number of reviews for her book. She kept her promise and this is her dancing the Macarena http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ei5Xpc6QfFQ

Work is going awesome. I had my first heads of shift meeting this morning. I feel sorta weird being the only person wearing jeans and teeshirts but hey, it's third and I just gots to be me. (or something like that)

And now for a recipe. Very Cheep. I made it up when I came home from work.
Precooked, pre-pealed shrimp (you can find it pretty cheep if you look for frozen.. just let it defrost before breading it)
Fresh Ground Pepper
egg
rice flour or regular flour (I prefer rice flour)
oil
6 or more McDonalds Sweet and Sour McNugget sauces
Thai peppers (if you want it hot)
Rice
Frozen Stir Fry vegies (you can get them at almost any grocery store from 99 cents to 1.99 depending on the store I go for the ones that have Water Chestnuts
One Ripe Mango

Okay, Now I made this up on the fly so I don't have measurements.
Take egg. Crack it and whip it up. The Egg acts as glue for the flour. Toss the shrimp in the egg... then.. wait for it.... toss it in the flour.. toss it back in the egg and recoat. then back to the flour. That's double dipping and when you're frying something it's good to double dip.

Take a wok or a deep sauce pan. use about two tablespoons of oil in the pan and heat it till the oil starts to snap crackle and pop a bit. Cut the heat down to medium and lightly put in the flour coated shrimp. Allow to lightly brown and turn. Be careful to not remove the breading as you do this. when both sides are LIGHT brown move the shrimp to one side of the pan. Cut the heat and let the oil cool, the shrimp will continue to cook. Add frozen veggies and mango. Turn heat back on. Let cook... when vegies are starting to fry up and become soft stir back in the Fried shrimp which should be nicely browned by now.. and the Thai peppers. when everything is good and hot.. add the McDonald's Sweet and sour sauce. Stir together and add pepper to taste. Serve on a bowl of rice. Blam Kung Pow Shrimp.

And now.. I've finished watching the Simpsons and the Best Family Guy this season (http://www.hulu.com/watch/71125/family-guy-we-love-you-conrad) and my stomach is full of spicy food goodness. Time to have weird dreams.

Paige's Power Trip: Another Whoops. I did not do this on purpose moments..

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 22:56:19 GMT

Last night I was listening to DJ Spookys turntablism masterwork

2004 Ex Nihlo an illbent intervention - DJ Spooky

And one of the older guys came over and tapped the Skip song button .. not knowing I was streaming it.. and it's a 79 minute long song.. I was a half hour into the song.... I was already in a bad mood due to lack of food and zero cash. Painting on a smile wasn't going to last much longer. One of the ladies offered me some money when she heard me mentioning that I wasn't doing a food/coffee run today due to lack of cash or credit on my person.
   So off I went. While in the car I found I left my can of "Power Trip: Mango" in the cooler I keep in my back seat. (Here's a picture of it I took outside of the Over the Top overpriced "Drink Shoppe" Meat, Cigar and Beverage discount store. (Hint: Not at all discounted. At all. Infact they have a huge markup on almost everything.) I have a severe addiction to Mango and a mango flavored energy drink? Sign me up. It's like Mango flavored seltzer water.
    Anyway. I borrowed money and it was just enough to cover her sub and my sub at Subway. Lucky for me the cooler works well and the drink was cool enough to be acceptable for an energy drink. I get the subs, I go back to work. I'm eating my sub when one of the guys comes in an as he's washing his hands says Six Years and Three months. That's how long he's worked here.
I'm like.. Okay. I really.. have no clue. Do we count the year I was gone? I'm on a turntableism kick. Do you have any Mix Master Mike in your car? (topic change was intentional)
   I go back to work filling in for Nev, so I'm working with a large group. I'm sipping my drink at the microscope (a big no no) and the group leader in that area comes over after a few minutes. He and I are friends.
   "Virginia is trying to start shit. She asked why I'm not Shift Supervisor because I'm already group leader and I'm older."
   AH HA! The Boss used my absence to announce to everyone about the change in management. I wish he told me first, I would have brought a tiara.
"Because I know how to cut all power, gas and water lines to the building, because I live down the road, Because I fix everything when it's broke and most importantly, you're to crucial to this area to have you leave and do rounds every night,"
    "That's okay. I didn't want the job anyway." He sniffs. I cough. (bullshit.) Then make with the smooth talk about how I've always respected him and I really don't want this to come between our friendship, because it's really that he's to important to the area he manages to have to deal with the little shit. I'm sure he was first pick (bullshit, there was no debate.)
   This of course fluffs his ego and slowly over the next hour people start becoming more social to me again as their group leader starts joking with me like his kid sister again. I continue to play the lovable dork. Then as I take another pull off my drink I realize. I walked into a group that was just told
I'm the new BOSS while drinking "Power Trip"
    I can't make this stuff up because it wouldn't be as funny.

Icon request

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 12:39:54 GMT

I Need an icon of the president of BET from Boondocks when she asks Reggie
if the new show is EVIL?!! When she's covered in blood and her eye almost
pops out. That scene..
A few months ago I panned Boondocks for stupidfying Grandpa and removing
Huey, for making Sara a raving fan girl (it's not the same as the comic
story..in that she threw Tom out for his bitching over her voting Nader.
That was funny.) , for making Tom lame(r) and having way to much Uncle
Ruckus (racism isn't funny).. I stopped watching...
My bad.. because starting with the episode "Date with a werewoman" the
show goes funny again. That line between parody, satire and social
commentary comes back. So yes. I'm a fan again. Especially of the episodes
with BET. Because I'm sorry, next to LoGo. BET is one of the worst
"speciality" stations. (Why Logo? Why you gots to cut all the sex from Queer
as Folk? Whyyy? Isn't that removing what made the show fun? Errr.. besides
Hal Sparks?)
Anyway, if anyone can find or make an animated icon of the eye poping
"Evil?!?" Scene.. I would love you a very long time. I don't have a
functioning dvd/cd drive on my computer

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 22:27:35 GMT

So the Google Map mash up is showing the latest in the Swine Flu. The E.U. is strongly urging no one travel to the Americas. Sigh. I've officially spent the day moping around. Hard to write funny stuff when you're all "wow the last thing she ever see of me was me walking face first into a door."  I hope that they don't start restricting flights anytime soon.   Pft. She was all emotional and had a bad feeling something was going to happen when she was gone. Shows what she knows. I mean what could POSSIBLY go wrong in two weeks?
     I mean.. what the hell? Really? Really life? Really?   You couldn't have waited maybe another week or so to unleash a highly contagious virus on us all?    Anyway. So a wasp somehow ended up in the apartment today. I Nuked it with Lysol. No stingy type bug is going to give me the flu. (I'm joking. I was cleaning the bathroom and so the Lysol was what i had on hand so I used it to knock him from the air.. I hate stingy bugs)
   So Twitter's great for watching all this unfold. I like the thread #swinefluhatesyou I mean I really should be going to bed but I can't stop F5 ing the page.

Oh yeah, and if anyone watches the show Chuck. Go get a sub at subway tonight or something.    There's this whole movement to order a sub and leave a comment in the comment box about you buying because of the show.

Okay well it's late and I need to kick the cat and make sure she's still alive.

(I really want my girlfriend to come home)

For sale. Paige's Extremely tweeked out Excalibur (Dash) Phone

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 20:31:01 GMT

I need to buy a new AC unit. I have the feeling I'm going to need a very high powered Air conditioner this year so.....

I'm selling my T-Mo Dash.Now that I have broadband, I don't need to use the Dash for the 6 dollar net hack anymore. This phone is Legend---ary. It's been tweeked out. Last year in a contest we set it against Jimmys IPhone. People preferred my phone. Hand to god. Mind you Jimmy's Iphone was box fresh. Now that I'm used to a touch screen and have broad band, I no longer need the Dash. Also I REALLY NEED a new Air Conditioner

What you get:

2 batteries. One used, one never opened. 2 memory cards. One of them is filled with the North East Maps for the loaded TomTOm like program (Route 66) The other card is blank.
A lifetime collection of Screen protectors.

You also receive a GPS Unit. You connect to the gps via bluetooth. The Holux GPS is small enough to fit in your pocket. Route 66 is DOOR TO DOOR so you can track movement as you walk on the city streets. It's saved my ass so many times. IT IS A FULLY FUNCTIONING GPS. It's why I've kept this phone for so long. The GPS is Holux M-1200.

This is modified. This Dash has been overclocked, UNLOCKED and has a custom OS. The OS is based on Windows Mobile 6.1.
Local Weather, sports scores and Local Fave websites and Media player are all located on the home screen(this is not possible with Windows Mobile or even your Iphone. This is a custom hack.). Comes loaded with Skyfire. YOU CAN USE FLASH ON THIS PHONE with Skyfire. With Bluetooth or a USB-Mini USB wire you can use this phone as a 5.99 internet access point. It's not broadband speed but if you travel, you now have full access for your laptop wherever you have a cellphone signal.

Radio: 4.1.13.52
OS Windows mobile 6.1 Ricky's custom mod with custom font pack. (Modified with cHome, cHome MiniweatherSkyfire (you can use flash on the phone it's just a memory and power hog.. but you can watch Heroes on Hulu and that's pretty cool), Evernote (you need to have an Evernote account.. it's free and oh so worth it), TCPMP media player (DO NOT LOOSE THIS PROGRAM it costs money now) Veveo VTap (to watch YouTube), Cinemax "blueray player" Just a higher quality video player than TCPMP, Route 66.

Warning: YOU need your own sim card and cell phone plan. You're buying a phone. Not a service plan. With T-mobile you can use the 5.99 data plan (5.99 internet.) It has been tested and works on this phone.
You NEED your own charger for this phone. Any standard mini-usb cellphone charger will work. To use Active Synch you need to download it from Microsoft and find your own USB-2-Mini USB cable or Bluetooth dongle. These are very cheep and you can even find cellphone chargers at CVS now a days.
DO NOT FORMAT THIS PHONE! I DO NOT HAVE BACKUPS that I can send you. I have no DVD/CD burner. I will NOT be able to reinstall the GPS program for you.
I do NOT know if the 6.99 hack will work where you live. They've been closing the loophole across the country. If you put in your sim card, turn on the phone and don't see the weather update on your homescreen, you'll need to find a Blackberry internet plan for your cellphone company.
If you go to the Wiki and are confused about Installing Programs to your Phone. This is not the phone for you. Buy an Apple Product.

Bidding starts at 100 USD. Help. It's very hot and I have to put on clothing sometime. Multiple batteries, multiple memory cards, Fully loaded, tested and tweeked out programs and a fully functioning GPS. (I like the english accent the best)

Writer's Block: Philanthropy

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 11:14:07 GMT

Do you volunteer your time or donate money to any charitable organizations? Which ones, and why?

View other answers

HRC.org I want to be left alone and just be normal like everyone else, but it's good to know that if a friend of mine gets stomped on, it's not going to be buried under paperwork and forgotten. Much like hate crimes in my home town. The shit I did and the shit I witnessed, I don't want to see happen to another generation's kids.
So Human Rights Org. Because you don't ask to be born, and you shouldn't be punished for it. Life punishes us enough.

Bea Arthur

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 23:02:35 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=503AF22F0F360C58
RIP Bea. Here's some classic Golden Girls. Look at those Shoulder Pads. Check out the 80's sensibilities.

When I grow up I wanna be Sophia. *nod nod*

Heroes_Meta: I am Sylar

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 13:12:21 GMT

Yes children there are spoilers below this cut.

That's very good TV reception for analogue TV in the middle of the dust bowl. Why, you can see Sylar!Nate radiating smarmy as if Sylar was the real Nate.
Sylar: Why does this keep happening?"
Because this show is a comic book and the metamorph loosing hir identity is a time honored storyline. Also it allows those of us who haven't been watching for a while a chance to catch up on the whole Sylar is a shape changer thing, just in case we didn't pay attention or started thinking Sylar gave up serial killing and switched to working at a rubber mask manufacturer. A VERY GOOD rubber mask company.

I would pay good money if Little Matt Parkman started talking right then while on the phone with mom.. in full sentences. "Mommy, that man who left us? Yeah he's now trying to make up for lost time. Yeah totally. I know right? Look he's still holding me so I bet he's listening in. I gotta go." Ahem "ga gah."

I don't slash. But this whole thing comes off as... I mean Danko and Sylar *rubs temples* I mean sylar really does open up to people a lot. Sinister music aside, I can't shake the feeling that this is some sort of creepy foreplay between sociopaths. If my power was malfunctioning I wouldn't be telling the guy who you KNOW is looking for a reason to put a leash on you. You don't like being a nothing.. but you DO prefer to be a guy who has to hide out. Let me repeat that. You.. Sylar. Who is dead to the world.. would rather be Sylar/Dead to the World than a guy who can walk in public because that guy is nothing? Then you tell this to the guy who you know wants to kill you but keeps you alive because he has use for you? JUST ASK HIM IF HE LOVES YOU ALREADY. Christ on a pocky stick up my nose! Also we've jumped right to Sylar cutting himself stage. Really. Did you need to do that? I mean Emo Sylar is EMO.

NO Not the Hummel figure! Gramada's gonna be so pissed!

And now we're back where Danko's all Sylar. "I know you have to be yourself and I accept that.. Let us bond over a watch." Again. I'm not a slasher but this is dancing the subtext waltz. I mean Danko is really open to a serial killer who's clearly unhinged.

Hiro and Ando make plans and Ando reveals his super hero name. I must admit Crimson Arc is alot better than Pink Sparkler of Justice.

Sylar gets his mommy's clothes in the mail. He smells them. As if he isn't creepy enough already. Then he goes all Norman Bates. Please to be explaining to me why girls swoon over Sylar?

Hiro... His getting Ando shot with FOUR tranks? that's just dickish, One is good enough. I know what his plan was.. and for such a cunning (yet dickish to Ando) plan, you would think he'd be smart enough to remove his glasses. Superman always removes his glasses.

Hurray for Sylar being reached by Mica.

The Family:
Nate is going to go solo! Yeah this is going to end well. I would have HRG right at my side the whole time, but then that wouldn't lead to the misadventures of the ~~lovers~~ brothers. Maybe Angela's smiling because she knows how she can control Sylar easier than she can control Nathan.

Hiro, you aren't listening to a word I'm saying are you? Hiro and Ando remind me of most of my relationships.

Matt.. Matt Matt... is Daphne even cold yet?

Nate: "Get the hell out of my body." The slashers go crazy. Did anyone see this ending well? Anyone? HRG next time. Seriously. HRG. Jesus himself could be coming back and HRG would say "not in the plans."and Jesus would take his loafs and go home with a pout. THAT'S how badass HRG is.

OH look It's Momo. *yawn*

Seven days in my life.. Interrupted by funah!

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 17:16:32 GMT

Originally I was going to have this huge massive post about last week and all the things that happened. While it's a great story.. it tends to lag. so here's the really quick recap

Wed 8th, There was no work. Shawn drives an hour to work and everyone was rightly pissed off. They knew at 5pm that we wouldn't have work (due to a shipment error). Shawn and I grab beers at the Garden. I go home and for some reason make 5 mason jars full of speggeti sauce from scratch.

Thursday 9th I wake up with the taste of sick and a major hang over. I find the kitchen clean and the bathroom clean. I walk into the kitchen.. Rocking a major hangover. I open the fridge..Yes. I made spaghetti..and was sick.. and I got sick due to the bottle of 151 rum I find in the garbage. That explains the huge blanks in my memory and the raging headache. I give up and go back to sleep and end up oversleeping. I rent a Ford Fusion... drive down to I-90 and realize i left my cash and ATM card at home. The trip was mostly covered on my Twitter (neonumbra)

Friday 10th I return home and have problems getting my computer up and running.  BAWLS! All that.. the road trip, the shady motel.. for NOTHING other than the adventure of going back to New York.
       Paul and I didn't have time to actually test the machine because of we didn't want to leave his wife stuck at home dealing with a newborn and another baby just so he could be out all night with his ex-girlfriend in a hotel room.   I slept 2 hours and drove home. I didn't want to stay in the hotel any later than I had to. It was a very skeevy dive.
That night at work the boss instructed everyone to go home. Except for me. He has TO TALK TO ME.. In a very serious tone.
Nev refuses to leave without me. (I'm trying to sign to her "Sweetie, you aren't HELPING!!" but I think I just looked like I was swatting at butterflies)
   Flashback:   Tuesday I was wearing the ring she got me for our anniversary and she was so excited she went around dragging me behind her to show everyone.  To which the boss (Who clearly has a crush on her) was like *Grunt*   Ever since then I've been in panic mode that "He knows and now he hates me." She of course assured me that girls give each other gifts all the time like this sorta thing. Somehow that made my paranoid side switch from jumping jacks to just pushups. *grunt* indeed.
    I'm sweating mother loving BRICKS at this point but trying to maintain my cool. Boss isn't some wimpy pushover. He's a good guy but I have the feeling at one time, back in Colombia, he was not a good guy. Not a good guy in America =/= Not a good guy in Colombia. Know what I'm saying? He's old enough to have seen things before he moved here. I was here when he moved here. He scared people. I was one of the people who helped him adapt. I'm going to be totally alone in the building with this guy, just days after he may or may not found out that I may be more than friends with the girl he likes? This is not good. He's already told me he doesn't approve of "My lifestyle"(Before he became The Boss) but I was a good person so he has decided he is my friend (um thanks?) *grunt* Indeedly-do. I'm boned.
   So Nev and Shawn waited in the car a half hour for me but eventually gave up. The boss kept me waiting a full hour. Declaring he wouldn't talk to me until he was SURE everyone was gone (not helping my overactive imagination here!) I was expecting him to make up some good reason to fire me. They'd "downsize" a temp before they let me go. They can't fire me. I'm not making that much money, I took a pay cut. I still have plenty of sick and vacation time... I can't take another pay cut.. Oh christ! SO I had an hour of absolute "Shaking on the inside'" What will I do if I loose my job.. if I'm fired - i can't collect unemployment.
   My brain was racing. My palms sweaty.
The Boss comes out and sits down next to me.
"What Brenda says to you. Don't listen to her. She just wants to cause trouble."
What?! The temp that nobody wanted to work with and I quickly found out why? (She just loves. Loves. LOVES to gossip. She's one of those drama types who doesn't actually SAY things, She INFERS them.)
         He had me waiting an hour to tell me what I already know?!! But this brings up another interesting fold to my brain, Why does he care about what I think?
     Then comes the real reason he's asked me to stay. He had a root canal a few weeks ago. They botched it. It's infected, he isn't on pain killers and he just can't take it anymore. Plus his mom is sick. Very sick (Boss is old so I doubt his mom is sick with the flu) so he's going to go back to Colombia for who knows how long. He doesn't want to but he has to. He can't afford Ameican doctors anymore and his son and daughter have already left to be with Grandam. He's going to have his teeth fixed and spend the time recovering with his mom. He has no idea how long He'll be gone but I'm now The Boss.
*takes sip of coffee in order to do a spit take*
And don't let anyone know yet. He'll be leaving in May. That gives me a few weeks to learn everything. That explains his moodyness. An infected rootcanal and no pain killers. This guy is stone fucking cold. In case his facial scars didn't indicate it before.
Now this is the type of drama I like! People are going to flip OUT. It's going to be an awesome game of political play, just like it used to be. I'm not joking when I said my toes curled with glee.  The Boss is a good guy so I don't play games with him but I know as soon as he's gone and I'm the one with the laser inscribed key... There will be Blood and I do love myself a good bloodbath. *Fangs emerge*   Seriously. Toes. Curled. Glee!

Saturday: I slept almost all of Saturday... and ate alot. My whole trip to Rodcha was 1000 miles and a Small fry from McDonalds for food (I was hungover) Friday I was to busy to really eat.. so Saturday I more than made up for it. That speggettie sauce I made was awesome. Sad that i don't remember HOW I made it. Plus I fixed my computer. All I needed was a good night sleep so my brain could work again.

Okay okay.. So Easter was okay. but the real reason I'm writing this post....

   I was in the middle of writing this long journal entry.. which originally was much longer and with pictures...and I had a book sitting down on the floor next to me. I was going to write a review of it. I did not like the book... at all.    But before writing the review I was going to finish my 7 days in my life Journal post. I went over and poured myself my final cup of coffee for the day... I turn around and there's Slate Hunched over the book.
Imagine a slow motion Noooooooo!! Because in my imagination that's how it played out.. me reaching for the scruff of the cat's neck while shouting "nooooooo!"
    My Cat peed on the book that i don't like. D:
Not enough mortified emotcons exist in the world for this. The cat. Peed. On. The. Book. If you don't have a cat... let me just tell you. Your own urine is NOTHING compared to the aroma of a cats.

No, Slate isn't sick. She never urinates randomly around the apartment. I mean she WILL if I neglect her, but it's normally in the shower or on the bathmat. She did once on my old lab coat but i have a feeling she did that while I was away for a week in St. Louis and because the coat was behind my laundry, it took me a long time to find it. ... so yeah. Cat. Peed. On. A. Book.